Ugggh. It’s really annoying when self care gets thrown around as the only solution to clearly fixable problem. Okay, so, confession, this is mostly just a rant, but Im sure I’m not the only one who has felt this way. So here goes.

Self care is amazing and super important. I preach this stuff for a living. I’d even go as far as to say that it’s a vital part of dealing with most everything in life. However, it’s never really a solution to a problem- it’s a coping skill for a problem. It’s a slippery slope. Eventually, we start saying, “Oh, sorry, that sucks. Just go do some self care, that will fix it.”

Will self care really fix it?

Will self care itself provide any real change in a situation? Now, I’m not talking about emotional changes– it can and will help you learn how to process and effectively deal with an issue. But it’s not going to necessarily change the status of the issue.

In essence, it has become a punk way to opt out of dealing with the actual issue. Its basically equivalent to the whole “thoughts and prayers” thing. It’s great that you’re thinking of me and I appreciate your prayers, but I would still like for this problem to go away. “You’re telling me that your way of dealing with your part in this issue is for me to take care of myself?” It just didn’t settle very well with me.

Well, it’s not gonna fix my damn toilet!

Self care is not going to make problems go away and it’s not going to actively address the issues. Sure, it will help you let go of things you can’t control, but it won’t control it for you.

I still feel super passionate about it. But it’s annoying when I hear that the only solution to a very real problem, is more self care. Resolving a problem requires an action. Feeling more comfortable inside of a problem isn’t a substitute for a solution. Imagine if your toilet was leaking and you called a plumber and they said “oh okay, you should just practice some self care.”

But do you want to know the biggest irony of all? Self care is exactly what I need to help calm myself down about the fact that it won’t fix my problems. So when I start to feel obsessively annoyed at being given the answer of “self care”, The only real answer is to take care of myself.

I hope this makes sense to someone out there. I’m just in a crappy mood and don’t like it when people hide problems behind the curtain of self care. But at the end of the day, it’s all we have. It is the only solution to the fact that theres not other solution. If nothing is going to get resolved, then all that we can do is practice self care to help accept the things that we can’t change.